Sometimes I deliberately avoid my blog dashboard so I won’t be too influenced by if people are actually reading or not. What seems to happen is that I begin to believe that no one reads at all, since my entries don’t necessarily generate a lot of comments or likes. But then, when I am brave enough to actually look, I see that there are just as many readers as ever checking in on me. What’s really amazing is that you know when I post – you know my schedule. That makes me really happy. Thank you for reading my blog.
I got a really good comment on my post from yesterday from my friend Lisa that I thought others might find valuable: “…I wanted to share some insight a mentor faculty mentor passed on to me at a very important phase in my life. I was worried I wasn’t being “productive” enough and when I told her so, she gently smiled and taught me that productivity isn’t just about physical action and that it’s good (imperative!) to trust your own brain’s process for development and need for rest/recuperation.” Isn’t that great advice? I too often compare myself to other people as if constantly looking to see if I measure up, or if I’m good enough. There is also another side to her advice that I found helpful – that the process of life has its own agenda. You can control it up to a point and steer it in the direction you’d like to go, but you ultimately just have to go with the flow. Learning to relax a little bit and enjoy the ride is a true talent and gift that takes a little bit of practice. I’ve gotten much better at it, but still have a ways to go.
I have found as well that with each year my idea of happiness changes. In the past I think accomplishing huge things made me feel better about myself and also excited me to no end, and while that is still true…. I now find myself looking more for unique experiences to feed my soul. I like being with people who inspire me, I like new ideas and places, I like rediscovering things with a whole new perspective. Still I find myself wanting to turn my experiences into something tangible, which I do to some extent with my blog. I think that’s why a book calls to me right now, because I can apply some of my feelings, thoughts and experiences to a character that I have free creative range with. James has offered to help keep me accountable to a schedule, which I will take him up on. It is really hard for me to share the content of my book though with other people, which I am going to have to get over really fast. It is highly personal and makes me feel very vulnerable for several reasons. I think because a lot of what I write about has actually happened to me, and also I worry that I’m not a very good writer. That book is a lot like looking into my soul, and I worry that it might be too much for another person. But, I also know that is a very silly thought and goes against my desire of being truly authentic. It excites me that I’m reaching so deep to create something of such importance, because that’s also how I know that people will probably find value in reading it.
Speaking of important personal projects, The Burger Coalition is tonight! It’s the brain baby of James & Dan, and I was lucky enough to get my name in the hat for the Birmingham group’s dinner this evening at Ollie Irene. The idea is simple – to share a good meal (specifically, a burger) and have good conversation… hopefully with people who you don’t know or see often. James & Dan make a dynamic duo of sorts, as they seem to have this magic between them that makes collaborative projects happen with ease. You’ve heard the saying before that there are “sayers” and “doers”, well, they are definitely doers. And it is so inspiring. I will be glad to say that I was in the first one, and I will report back tomorrow on how it went!