Forgiveness

I love it when a Monday turns out to be special. Last night after work I went for a super hot four mile run with Vero…sometimes a good workout can do wonders for how you feel. Afterwards I was high as a kite, happy as a cucumber. We met David for dinner at Silvertron when we finished and relaxed over lots of water and a glass of wine. Later on I went to my dear friend Misty’s apartment, whom I haven’t seen in what feels like ages. We caught up on everything going on in each others lives. It was really nice to spend time with her and her fiancé Deke.

I woke up several times last night from the storms that passed through. I turned off my air unit at some point so I could just listen to the thunder rolling outside. There are few things more peaceful than rain in the middle of the night. When I was younger I used to be so afraid of being alone in the dark, to the point of keeping myself up for hours in fear. I was mostly afraid of ghosts and spirits, of not being able to “see” what I could feel all around me. I don’t know if our 100-year-old house was really haunted, but it sure looked and felt like it was. To this day I am still fascinated by the thought of places being haunted, and with the kinds of spirits or energies that hang around a location instead of moving on. If they do get stuck in our earthly existence, then it’s probably not for happy reasons.

When I think of the word forgiveness, it is usually in respect of forgiving other people. Sometimes I give myself a harder time than I deserve, or I dwell on things that I may perceive as being a mistake on my part in the past. I’ve found that if I give myself the freedom of forgiveness as easily as I would to another person, I am able to let it go peacefully. Just the simple phrase – I forgive myself – has tremendous power. Sometimes our biggest bully is in fact ourselves, and I think that can be true for me more often than it should. But on the flip side, I am definitely my biggest cheerleader, too.