While I have a blog, and I’m a fairly open person, I find it difficult sometimes to confess or talk about certain things. There are still many facets of my life that aren’t discussed…like things that could compromise my well-being, personal life, other people, or cause me to feel too vulnerable. Failures, large or small, can make me feel that way sometimes. Or maybe I’m not as forgiving of myself as I should be. It is probably a common thing to be too hard on ourselves, but sometimes I think we set the bar too high. I expect a lot, and usually I succeed with my goals. Other times I let go too soon, or dismiss the importance of sustaining forward motion. This is when I remind myself that I am tremendously lucky in so many ways, more than I could ever count. I wish on days when I feel like I am making no ground, that maybe it’s ok to be exactly where I am. That things will move when they are supposed to, as long as I am looking for the opportunities. And I have full confidence in the fact that I will always walk through an open door, that no opportunity will go ignored. That I will put forth full effort. I like that about me.
Do you know someone who is 100% content? That concept completely baffles me…. as it’s something that seems really wonderful to experience, but I can’t imagine never wanting something more. Are people who are content, happy too? What is the balance between wanting and being content? Is it measured with success? Is measured with a sense of completeness? Or accomplishment? If you have 50% of what you want, is that enough? It’s hard to say, and probably varies with the circumstances and person. I think this is where the notion of being grateful comes into play – being thankful for everything you do have. On days when I feel frustrated, am I thinking about the wonderful things that surround me? Probably not. Maybe I should be. However, I do experience moments of feeling content… as if I’m exactly where I should be. That is a high like no other. And I have them often, too. It’s usually when I’m with someone I care about doing something very relaxed, talking about things that excite me. I love to dream and plan. I think I’m at my most happiest when I’m feeling good about my body, feeling hopeful about the future, and experiencing peace with the past. I don’t think that is too much to aspire to, and maybe it’s my own version of being content.