I am looking forward to some quiet time this weekend to get some personal things done.  It’s been a busy 10 days and I need to put some energy back into my being.  I feel the need to go within myself and recharge.  I think a nice coffee shop, my laptop and good music will do just the trick.  Writing has become a nice way to escape lately.  The older I get, the more I fall in love with words.  Even if I am the only person who ever sees some of the things that I write, it is such a release to let thoughts and ideas flow from my spirit.  I used to think that art was only a visual medium, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  There is something magical about painting a picture purely from description, and letting your reader create the masterpiece in their own minds.  It ends up being something more intimate to the interpreter, I think.

There is nothing more powerful in life than to be a master of your own feelings.  I am a fairly sensitive person, which has its ups and downs.  I am capable of deep, intense understanding…while on the flipside I can sometimes be easily hurt by others.  It has been a lifelong challenge to build confidence in myself and to not need reassurance from someone else.  Most of the time I have a good handle on it, but every now and then – especially when I am tired – I feel my sensitivities rise.  I can be unfairly hard on myself, but luckily it is usually short-lived.  It is probably obvious at this point that I am currently feeling this way, but I think a few days of rest and expression will effectively push the reset button.

Herb-Stuffed Scallops with Asparagus, Almonds & Citrus...made by Charles & Carrie Beth!

Champagne with friends.

If you’ve noticed a new private “page” on my blog, it’s because I’m about to launch my book presentation to help attain an agent as well as a book contract.  I’ve been spending a lot of time on it lately to polish it up.  Keep your fingers crossed, I hope to start sending out my proposal next week to a select list.

For those of you who live in Alabama, or are from Alabama, I hope you make special note of Alabama Gives Day on February 2nd!  This is a chance for us to collectively give to some of our favorite local causes.  It’s no secret that two of my favorites are the Sidewalk Film Festival and Humane Society (both Greater Birmingham & Shelby County).  While looking through the list of charities, I randomly came across the fundraiser that I did last January & February for the Great Birmingham Humane Society (Jen Jogs for Cats and Dogs)…and guess whose little photo was on there?  Sweet Kitten’s.  It is now a happy memory.  I will certainly be donating on Alabama Gives Day in remembrance of her.

A page from the book I am reading.

It is a fact that our world will change exponentially every year until we leave this earthly existence, but some things will hopefully stay the same.  Like the unique experience of eating a fresh beignet in New Orleans French Quarter…and how it feels to be in love, to laugh, and to have genuine connections with others no matter what the medium.  I think what we currently view as a “normal life” and as “normal relationships” will drastically change in the next 20 years.  While traditions will always exist, new ideas on quality of life will be introduced and incorporated.  But you know what will never change?  The importance of loving one another.  The coolest thing I probably heard all weekend was the notion that we are all one combined energy, that we can live life as if in a lucid dream by pulling back from our physical bodies.  Tim Freke might be a real freak to some, but he made me think.  And for that I promptly bought his book.

This specific conference was for people who work in the beauty industry…so needless to say I was surrounded by all different types of what one would interpret as beautiful.  Some had colorful hair and tattoos, some were sophisticated and classic, while others fit no specific description.  But what seemed to be a common thread was the direct connection with their authentic selves.  They weren’t afraid to express who they were on every level – internally and externally.  Everywhere we went you could hear the locals say that “the pretty people were in town.”  And it’s not that they fit the standard definition of what “beauty” is for body types & such, but they no doubt worked with what they had and presented the best version of themselves at all times.  There is something to be said about appearance that signifies a person who is proud of who they are.  We could all learn a little confidence from these visually expressive spirits.

A photo of a of Jackson Square in our hotel room.

Conference

The city of New Orleans was prepping for Mardi Gras during our visit.

Mardi Gras beads!

Baby Kitty and her new favorite pen from New Orleans. She slept with it all night.

While attending our work conference, there’s been a big budget movie (Broken City) shooting in front of the hosting hotel. Out of all the places we’ve been so far in the last 3 days, it is the only film I’ve seen around…and it’s dead smack in the middle of our walking path in and out of the conference. I’m taking it as a sign to buckle down and work hard, as I hope to turn my book into a feature film once it is completed. I get a fuzzy feeling in my stomach every time I pass the working set. Especially since we got to see Mark Wahlberg.

I am going to leave this city tomorrow feeling energized and recharged.

Crossing Lake Pontchartrain

Destination

My friend & coworker Lindsay.

Rev. Zombie's Voodoo Shop

I am so in love with my iPhone.  :)  Today I’m going to try out a new app called Wander that I heard about through a friend on Instagram (my current obsession).  Wander is a penpal/chat application that connects you to a random person in the world for a week.  Isn’t that cool?  It’s hard to feel lonely when you literally have the world at your fingertips.

Dinner Last night at Chez Lulu

My first book deadline is rapidly approaching on February 1st, and I believe that I’m gonna make it.  My goal was to have a solid fleshed-out outline and a first chapter written.  Not only will I have those two things done, but I may even have a partial second chapter down.  I’m also making headway in other areas that will help me to write later chapters in the coming months.  For me, I have to experience or become familiar with whatever it is that I’m writing…basically the “write what you know” theory.  So not only will doing the things that I want to write about help with the execution of my book, but it will also knock off some of my 2012 resolutions.

Last night while looking for a CD that I burned with some old work files, I took a little unexpected trip down memory lane.  When I moved into my mini house, I had to pack up a lot of my little odds and ends in a storage closet that I have downstairs.  One of the coolest things that I found was an old postcard written by someone who I met at a work conference about 4 years ago in Indianapolis.  We did a group exercise where you had 60 seconds to tell someone your life, and they in turn had to write a story based on what they remembered on the back of a postcard.  At the end of the exercise, we got to keep what the other person wrote.  I really loved mine…it had phrases like “creative spirit” and “bright future”, which made me feel inspired and glad to be me.

Next time you hear from me on Monday morning, hopefully I will have eaten a beignet or two and have some powdered sugar on my nose.    NOLA, here I come.

Postcard

With every passing day my heart heals a little more.  I spent some alone time last night just to help with the process.  The last thing anyone should do is ignore feelings of pain or push them to the side.  They are there for a reason – because you lost something valuable and significant in your life.  Letting the sadness go its own course also brings more clarity.  While I’ll never understand why that had to happen, it did nonetheless and I have to move on.  Plus, I want to remember her as often as I can.

Do you ever wonder why things that are made by other people mean so much more?  For example, I could never recreate the magic that is my dad’s scrambled eggs (aggs) or sheep herder spuds.  Well, I often try, but it just isn’t the same.  Maybe it’s just the idea that someone else is taking care of you, which then makes what would be an ordinary event more meaningful.  Or maybe a little piece of them is given to you each time they share something that they’ve had their hands on.  There is nothing I love more than food prepared by someone else, or a piece of art that was made by somebody that I know.  It adds so much value to life to know that beautiful experiences often come as gifts from other human beings.  A continuation of positive energy being passed back and forth.  So what do people do who live in solitude for so long?  I think you can also get that same kind of energy from nature.  It’s all about a connection with the things you interact with the most.  If we take care of our house, it will take care of us.  If we love our pets, they will love us.  If we give, we receive.  Just another form of what we’d call karma.

This was my first death to ever witness in person.  I can’t imagine what it must be like to see a person you love leave forever right before your eyes.  I wish I could say that there was a magical moment afterwards, that I knew it was for the best, but all I could feel was confusion and sadness for a life cut too short.  My other cat, Baby Kitty, has been lost without her friend for the last few days and extra clingy to me.  At some point I would like to get her another friend, but I also wonder if I could take another beloved pet dying so unexpectedly.  I am sure I will suck it up and do it though, as there are so many homeless kitties out there that deserve a life like Kitten had.

In the last 24 hours I’ve thought a lot about how fragile we are.  It’s amazing that our bodies function so reliably day in and day out, for such long periods of time.   It’s hard to know how lucky you are until you lose something important – whether it be a furry friend, another person, or an essential part of your own being.  Death is too easy.  Choosing to really live is the hard part.

Yesterday while cleaning my mini house, I saw a bug flying around in the corner of my eye at the top of the staircase in the sunlight.  And it wasn’t just any bug, it was a lady bug.  Kitten loved a flying bug, and it made me think of her.    Maybe she sent it to let me know that she is OK.

I have a feeling that this upcoming week is going to be a busy one, and hopefully in a good way.  Do you ever get overwhelmed on Sunday nights/Monday mornings?  It’s kind of like a mini new year, with a whole week’s worth of activities waiting to be accomplished.  One thing I did feel like I missed out on this weekend was sleep.  Between a few late nights and watching my parent’s dogs while they were gone, I got a little less than what I was hoping for.  There is nothing I love more than a good 8+ hours…and weekends were made to snooze.

I’ve decided that I have a favorite meal of the day – brunch!  I love it so much.  Just put eggs on my plate in any form or fashion and this girl is a happy camper.  Literally speaking of eggs… my close friends will enjoy this little bit of information.  I have been teased relentlessly for not being able to say eggs properly, instead I always say “aggs” with a long A.  I never knew where this came from until Thursday night.  While talking to my mom at her house before she headed out-of-town, she asked if I wanted any scrambled aggs for dinner.  I looked up at her from the couch and said, “It’s you!!  I got it from you!”  Mystery solved.  We then proceeded to try to say the word eggs correctly, which is very difficult to do.  :)  It was pretty funny.  At least I’m not the only one.

CRUSH screening for donors, cast and crew at Rojo

Kat Williams at the BJCC on Friday Night