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I’ve learned a big lesson in the past few days, one that my mom shed light on last night. You can’t let other people’s problems bring you down. That’s why it’s their problem, not yours. This isn’t relating to anything or anyone that I’ve written about publicly in my blog before, but still something that I have been struggling with as a bystander for a long, long time. This is a hard lesson to learn, especially when you feel like you can help or do something about it. But when your help isn’t wanted, even shouting or setting off fireworks to get their attention won’t do any good. They have to figure it out for themselves. I have resigned to this state of mind today, and I am officially letting it go. It is out of my hands… and not my problem anymore.
I’ve finally joined a local triathlon group called the Vulcan Triathletes, and I will be joining them on a brick workout next Saturday the 30th (thanks Al!!). We will be doing a 40 mile bike plus a 4 mile run… perfect for my capabilities right now. They also do a 20-something mile bike on Tuesday evenings that I plan to start working in my schedule. I’ve also learned about a bike ride on Thursday nights organized by my old high school friend Pat Allison from Lead it Out, leaving at 6 from Bob’s Bikes. You know the good weather has finally returned when all of the awesome bike rides come back!
David K, my future brother-in-law & PT, has offered to start joining me once a week on my longer runs to show me some stabilization exercises after we finish. These are best done when the body is fatigued, he says. Also, my new personal trainer is coaching me on Chi Running, which is basically a running technique that reduces your chance of injury. When I was going to CrossFit they briefly touched on this too. The basics are that you tuck your pelvis in, bring your shoulders back, angle your body forward so you “fall”, catch yourself with a flat foot and then release by bringing your ankle quickly up to your butt. Click here to listen to Danny Dreyer talk more about the posturing & philosophy of Chi Running.
Tonight I am heading to a friend’s wedding, then I’m going to a Rock Band/baby debut party. Yes, you heard that right. But first, I am going for a quick run!!
I am all set for my Half Ironman in New Orleans on April 17th gear-wise. I’ve rented my wet suit, clothing is lined up and I’m getting my bike tuned this week. I’ve also signed up for a 50 mile bike ride next Saturday in Dothan, Alabama that happens to benefit the hospital I work at (I was going anyway to volunteer… might as well participate!). That will be a great training ride for me. I’ve also arranged for my wetsuit to get here a week early so I can practice swimming at a local state park lake (Oak Mountain) the weekend before. I will be heading to New Orleans with my folks & their camper on Friday, April 15th with the race itself being on Sunday morning. Everything is coming together! The only risk I am running right now is not being able to change a flat tire on my bike, but I’m going to see if a friend can show me how over the next week or two. When I did the Half Ironman last year I remember seeing all kinds of people, pros & amateurs alike, on the side of the road with flats. I just got really lucky that it didn’t happen to me! Another thing I’m going to do differently this year is wear LOTS of sunscreen. I was burned so badly on bike last year that you can still see the lines on my back a year later. Not good times. I definitely learned my lesson.
Dinner last night with Mike’s parents went really great. It was just like any other time we’ve gone out to eat, except this time we had a different topic of conversation. They were very understanding & loving, more than we could have ever asked them to be about it. We then went on to watch Mike’s improv show across the street, and afterwards we walked back to our cars together. We gave each other long hugs, and I knew right then that they’d always be around. It was a special moment.
Today I’m hopping on my bike trainer for a long ride indoors, then heading to the gym for an upper body workout. Tomorrow I have a long swim planned along with a lower body session. Mike and I are going to really clean up our house over the next few days as well, and looks like I may start to move my things out on Sunday. I will be staying in my mom & dad’s downstairs apartment until our lease is up in August, while halving the bills with Mike until then. It’s nice to have a plan, so we can take care of ourselves while everything else falls into place.
Happy weekend, friends.
Mike and I weren’t sure what would happen after writing our blog posts from yesterday saying that we were going to split up and why, but the responses were so positive and uplifting from you guys. We really needed that jolt of support, so THANK YOU. Last night we took another big step and took our wedding rings off together (I just swapped hands, and Mike put his on his key chain), as well as setting our Facebook relationship statuses to private. I have to say it brought back another little wave of sadness, but it is so comforting to do things like that with each other. I have not been in this experience alone, Mike is with me every step of the way. It doesn’t make the separation easier for either of us, but it’s very affirming in the sense that it’s the right thing to do.
On a much happier note… my knee is kicking a** and taking names!!! It’s like it waited to heal when I needed it to the most. As silly as it sounds, accomplishing new things & getting back to my old exercise routine is bringing me extreme amounts of joy. Yesterday at physical therapy, I was cleared to bike with no restrictions!!! I. Might. Die of excitement. Also, it’s been SO AWESOME to get on the Arc Trainer and really use my legs. I only have two sessions of physical therapy left, and they told me that by this time next week I will be running on the roads with no restrictions as well. Holy geez, that makes me want to scream with joy! I ran again yesterday on the anti-gravity treadmill at 75% body weight with no problems. I am so grateful and proud of myself for sticking this out and keeping up with my cardio & strength while being extremely restricted. I basically rock my socks off right now.
Tonight I am having dinner with Mike’s parents, then going to watch Mike’s improv comedy show at BFT. It will be nice to see his folks and talk to them about what’s been going on. Just like I don’t want to lose Mike in any capacity, I don’t want to lose his family either. I feel like they are still my family and love them very much. Mike also spent some time with everyone in my immediate family earlier in the week after we broke the news to them, and they all expressed their love and support. It was a good night, and it showed both of us that things don’t have to change too much outside of our relationship.
I hope you guys have a great Friday! It will be a busy day for me, but busy is good. See you tomorrow.