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It was a great weekend. I got caught up on my rest, knocked out some personal tasks, hammered away at some 2012 resolutions and managed to have a little bit of fun in the process. Friday night was very peaceful. After work, I went over to my parent’s house to see the Lily Bean then we all went to dinner at Sweet Tea for some southern cuisine. I love eating dinner with my folks…there is nothing better than sharing a meal with people who you feel 100% comfortable around. We talked about our weeks, laughed a little, and just generally chilled out. I saw them again several times over the weekend as well.
I managed to watch three chick flicks this weekend – Water for Elephants, One Day, and Eat, Pray Love. Just a fair warning for those of you who weren’t in the know like me, One Day is suuuuuuper sad. It was a great film, but I just wanted to curl up in a ball and give up on life after I watched it. 
I almost had to stop watching Water for Elephants as well, but luckily that ended on a much happier note. I’d already seen Eat, Pray, Love, which is exactly why I rented it again. I needed a guaranteed feel-good movie after those two downers.
Saturday night was my designated “friend” night, and I spent the evening with some of my favorite people in Birmingham in honor of my friend David for his birthday. There are so many great folks in this little big city. You are always 2 degrees from everyone you meet, which can be a good and bad thing. Good for friendships, not always so good for dating. But just when I think that I know everyone in this town, someone new pops up in my life.
As I said earlier, I spent a big part of the weekend working on my own personal goals. I have officially become a regular at my local coffee shop. There is something about having private time in a public place that makes it more energizing than just being at home. I think it is also too easy to fall into procrastination habits when you are in your own space. I find that when I am around others who are either working solo or reading on their own, I feed off of that sense of community that I’m not the only one “by myself.” A strange concept, but true. Almost like being at a library except with decaf hot tea.
Dinner with my folks at Sweet Tea
My Crestwood Coffee buddy, Brandi!
The Clayster
Birthday boy David & Sam
Last night I enjoyed a yummy home-cooked meal prepared by my friends Charles & Carrie Beth. I love spending time with them…they always make me feel so welcomed and loved. Sometimes you just need to be around good friends, and last night was the perfect example. They fed my soul in more ways than one. We talked about memories, future plans and general life happenings. I left in a much better headspace than when I arrived!
I am looking forward to some quiet time this weekend to get some personal things done. It’s been a busy 10 days and I need to put some energy back into my being. I feel the need to go within myself and recharge. I think a nice coffee shop, my laptop and good music will do just the trick. Writing has become a nice way to escape lately. The older I get, the more I fall in love with words. Even if I am the only person who ever sees some of the things that I write, it is such a release to let thoughts and ideas flow from my spirit. I used to think that art was only a visual medium, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. There is something magical about painting a picture purely from description, and letting your reader create the masterpiece in their own minds. It ends up being something more intimate to the interpreter, I think.
There is nothing more powerful in life than to be a master of your own feelings. I am a fairly sensitive person, which has its ups and downs. I am capable of deep, intense understanding…while on the flipside I can sometimes be easily hurt by others. It has been a lifelong challenge to build confidence in myself and to not need reassurance from someone else. Most of the time I have a good handle on it, but every now and then – especially when I am tired – I feel my sensitivities rise. I can be unfairly hard on myself, but luckily it is usually short-lived. It is probably obvious at this point that I am currently feeling this way, but I think a few days of rest and expression will effectively push the reset button.
Herb-Stuffed Scallops with Asparagus, Almonds & Citrus...made by Charles & Carrie Beth!
Champagne with friends.
Besides the fact that Baby Kitty decided it was a good idea to poke holes with her teeth in the cover of my new philosophy book “Lucid Living” by Tim Freke, I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve read so far. I’m not certain what someone else would think about it though who has never heard him speak, because I can clearly hear his voice as I read along…which gives it another level of impact. He has great pauses and a British accent that only add more charm to what he is saying. I really admire people who can stand in front of large groups and express bold ideas with courage. It just goes to show that if you don’t believe in what you are saying or doing, no one else will either.
If you’ve noticed a new private “page” on my blog, it’s because I’m about to launch my book presentation to help attain an agent as well as a book contract. I’ve been spending a lot of time on it lately to polish it up. Keep your fingers crossed, I hope to start sending out my proposal next week to a select list.
For those of you who live in Alabama, or are from Alabama, I hope you make special note of Alabama Gives Day on February 2nd! This is a chance for us to collectively give to some of our favorite local causes. It’s no secret that two of my favorites are the Sidewalk Film Festival and Humane Society (both Greater Birmingham & Shelby County). While looking through the list of charities, I randomly came across the fundraiser that I did last January & February for the Great Birmingham Humane Society (Jen Jogs for Cats and Dogs)…and guess whose little photo was on there? Sweet Kitten’s. It is now a happy memory. I will certainly be donating on Alabama Gives Day in remembrance of her.
A page from the book I am reading.
What a great trip. We got home last night around 9:30 and I was greeted at the front door by a very happy Baby Kitty. :) The last four days have been filled with lots of stimulation and inspiration from futurists and philosophers. A lot of the speakers talked about ideas that were applicable in almost any area of life or passion. I feel like this was a trip that I was meant to take. There is something about New Orleans that always energizes my spirit and makes me excited for life. The air is thick with mystery, fun and experience. It awakens a wild part of your soul. I had several enlightening moments in a short amount of time, both inside and outside of the conference itself. I’m ready for the big things to come.
It is a fact that our world will change exponentially every year until we leave this earthly existence, but some things will hopefully stay the same. Like the unique experience of eating a fresh beignet in New Orleans French Quarter…and how it feels to be in love, to laugh, and to have genuine connections with others no matter what the medium. I think what we currently view as a “normal life” and as “normal relationships” will drastically change in the next 20 years. While traditions will always exist, new ideas on quality of life will be introduced and incorporated. But you know what will never change? The importance of loving one another. The coolest thing I probably heard all weekend was the notion that we are all one combined energy, that we can live life as if in a lucid dream by pulling back from our physical bodies. Tim Freke might be a real freak to some, but he made me think. And for that I promptly bought his book.
This specific conference was for people who work in the beauty industry…so needless to say I was surrounded by all different types of what one would interpret as beautiful. Some had colorful hair and tattoos, some were sophisticated and classic, while others fit no specific description. But what seemed to be a common thread was the direct connection with their authentic selves. They weren’t afraid to express who they were on every level – internally and externally. Everywhere we went you could hear the locals say that “the pretty people were in town.” And it’s not that they fit the standard definition of what “beauty” is for body types & such, but they no doubt worked with what they had and presented the best version of themselves at all times. There is something to be said about appearance that signifies a person who is proud of who they are. We could all learn a little confidence from these visually expressive spirits.
A photo of a of Jackson Square in our hotel room.
Conference
The city of New Orleans was prepping for Mardi Gras during our visit.
Mardi Gras beads!
Baby Kitty and her new favorite pen from New Orleans. She slept with it all night.
Sometimes when you are all alone in your little world at night surrounded by familiar things, tucked in bed tight, you forget that the world is still going forward outside of your door. That your favorite places are waiting for you to visit again, that people you know are somewhere in a loud place laughing and having a good time, and that somewhere else on the other side of the world someone is waking up to a new day. At dinner last night with my parents we talked about Paris, and how we’d be flying through on our way to Greece in April for my sister’s wedding. It reminded me of my brief 24 hours there a few years back with friends and getting to stand underneath the Eiffel Tower for the first time. Last night while lying in bed I thought about it sparkling, with other new eyes getting to gaze up at it. Probably happening at the very moment I was thinking about it. It made me feel happy.
I am so in love with my iPhone. :) Today I’m going to try out a new app called Wander that I heard about through a friend on Instagram (my current obsession). Wander is a penpal/chat application that connects you to a random person in the world for a week. Isn’t that cool? It’s hard to feel lonely when you literally have the world at your fingertips.
Dinner Last night at Chez Lulu
Soooooo, this weekend I go to NOLA for 4 days… wooooo!! It’s for a work conference and a handful of my coworkers will be attending as well. Any reason to go to New Orleans is a good one, and I’m especially happy to be going with the crew that I am. In preparation, Shelby is going to do my hair the deep natural purple again with a few surprise lighter sections around my face. He always does such a good job. As always, I will post photos once it is finished!
With every passing day my heart heals a little more. I spent some alone time last night just to help with the process. The last thing anyone should do is ignore feelings of pain or push them to the side. They are there for a reason – because you lost something valuable and significant in your life. Letting the sadness go its own course also brings more clarity. While I’ll never understand why that had to happen, it did nonetheless and I have to move on. Plus, I want to remember her as often as I can.
Do you ever wonder why things that are made by other people mean so much more? For example, I could never recreate the magic that is my dad’s scrambled eggs (aggs) or sheep herder spuds. Well, I often try, but it just isn’t the same. Maybe it’s just the idea that someone else is taking care of you, which then makes what would be an ordinary event more meaningful. Or maybe a little piece of them is given to you each time they share something that they’ve had their hands on. There is nothing I love more than food prepared by someone else, or a piece of art that was made by somebody that I know. It adds so much value to life to know that beautiful experiences often come as gifts from other human beings. A continuation of positive energy being passed back and forth. So what do people do who live in solitude for so long? I think you can also get that same kind of energy from nature. It’s all about a connection with the things you interact with the most. If we take care of our house, it will take care of us. If we love our pets, they will love us. If we give, we receive. Just another form of what we’d call karma.
Thanks so much to everyone who reached out in the last day or so about the passing of sweet Kitten. It’s hard to realize that it actually happened, and that it wasn’t all just a bad dream. I keep thinking that she is still around… then I have to remind myself that she is in fact gone. So strange how quickly things can change. Sometimes I feel silly for thinking and feeling this way about a cat, but she really was a special little creature that meant a great deal to me. As hard as it was to see, I am glad I was there to be with her when she went away. Mike wrote a really great blog post last night about his own memories of Kitten. You can read it here. Warning though, you will need tissue.
This was my first death to ever witness in person. I can’t imagine what it must be like to see a person you love leave forever right before your eyes. I wish I could say that there was a magical moment afterwards, that I knew it was for the best, but all I could feel was confusion and sadness for a life cut too short. My other cat, Baby Kitty, has been lost without her friend for the last few days and extra clingy to me. At some point I would like to get her another friend, but I also wonder if I could take another beloved pet dying so unexpectedly. I am sure I will suck it up and do it though, as there are so many homeless kitties out there that deserve a life like Kitten had.
In the last 24 hours I’ve thought a lot about how fragile we are. It’s amazing that our bodies function so reliably day in and day out, for such long periods of time. It’s hard to know how lucky you are until you lose something important – whether it be a furry friend, another person, or an essential part of your own being. Death is too easy. Choosing to really live is the hard part.
Yesterday while cleaning my mini house, I saw a bug flying around in the corner of my eye at the top of the staircase in the sunlight. And it wasn’t just any bug, it was a lady bug. Kitten loved a flying bug, and it made me think of her. Maybe she sent it to let me know that she is OK.
It was a good, good weekend. One of the biggest things that happened was our CRUSH short film screening (for donors, cast & crew) on Saturday night. My stomach was in knots all day about it. Would they like it, or would it bomb? It’s hard to fake true reactions and emotions while watching in a group like that. But luckily for Rebecca and I, people authentically responded in all the right ways during all the right parts. When we first screened Piece of Cake back in 2006 to a focus group, the reactions were not anywhere as good (but that could be b/c they were there to critique it). This little film has all the right pieces, it seems. I think the best response of the night was from a dear friend. With all the honesty in her body she said, “I knew it would be good, but I didn’t know it was going to be that GOOD. I was mostly just trying to support two creative friends, but you really have something special here.” :) Yay.
I have a feeling that this upcoming week is going to be a busy one, and hopefully in a good way. Do you ever get overwhelmed on Sunday nights/Monday mornings? It’s kind of like a mini new year, with a whole week’s worth of activities waiting to be accomplished. One thing I did feel like I missed out on this weekend was sleep. Between a few late nights and watching my parent’s dogs while they were gone, I got a little less than what I was hoping for. There is nothing I love more than a good 8+ hours…and weekends were made to snooze.
I’ve decided that I have a favorite meal of the day – brunch! I love it so much. Just put eggs on my plate in any form or fashion and this girl is a happy camper. Literally speaking of eggs… my close friends will enjoy this little bit of information. I have been teased relentlessly for not being able to say eggs properly, instead I always say “aggs” with a long A. I never knew where this came from until Thursday night. While talking to my mom at her house before she headed out-of-town, she asked if I wanted any scrambled aggs for dinner. I looked up at her from the couch and said, “It’s you!! I got it from you!” Mystery solved. We then proceeded to try to say the word eggs correctly, which is very difficult to do. :) It was pretty funny. At least I’m not the only one.
CRUSH screening for donors, cast and crew at Rojo
Kat Williams at the BJCC on Friday Night
I have been seeking comfort for the past few days. There’s nothing wrong, it’s just that sometimes you need to feel warm inside. Could be because of the rain, it could be because it is January, it could be for countless reasons. I have a go-to list of things that I like to do for myself when I feel this way: a nice bath, eating warm food, exercise, sleep, soft warm pj’s, massage (waaaay overdue), and writing/reading. Solitude can also feed my soul in ways no other thing can. Last night I camped out on my couch and watched Sleepless in Seattle (for the first time!). It was a night made just for me – peaceful and relaxed.
I have a pretty busy few months ahead of me. Next weekend I go to New Orleans for a work conference for about 4 days, next month is my birthday (woo!), April is Greece, and June is Bonnaroo. I am still looking for possible trip buddies for the last two. There is also a possible girl’s trip in late February in the works that may or may not happen. If it doesn’t, then I need to figure out something fun for my birthday! I’ve been asking myself what I’d like to do if I could do anything… and I haven’t come up with a good answer yet. Honestly, I would have fun doing just about anything if I was in the right company. I still have over a month to figure it out, so I’m sure something will come up between now and then.
For my day job I post a lot of morning affirmations on our social media sites. Sometimes I pay attention to them, and sometimes I don’t. I think it is a little ironic that I found myself in the beauty and wellness industry, as both of these concepts are of interest to me at this point in my life. I don’t necessarily want to be “beautiful”, but I do want to look my best… and at times in the past I’ve put my energy and focus into other areas of my life. Being around people who look really attractive on a daily basis has encouraged me step up my game. It’s pretty obvious how the wellness part ties in, as that’s always been high on my priority list. However, my definition of wellness changes from year to year. I used to think that it was tied into my physical appearance, when it actuality it’s only a small part. I also thought that wellness was directly related to my physical capabilities. That’s only a small piece as well. Wellness is being healthy in all aspects – mind, spirit, and body. For me, the most important one being mind. Which gets my back to me morning affirmation thought. It’s all in what we tell ourselves. It’s all in what we visualize for our own lives. If I tell myself that I am lonely, then I probably will be. If I tell myself that I enjoy this opportunity to get to know myself better, then I will. It seems easy, and definitely easy to understand, but putting it in practice literally takes practice. I have been working on my self-talk. I’ve never had a problem with making myself believe I can do anything I want in my career or passion of choice. My weaknesses usually lie in how I see myself in the personal realms. I will never be the perfect positive self-talker, but I make huge strides every year with it.
Yesterday I woke up to an unexpected turn of events. On my way to work, my mom called to tell me that a story had been published in The Birmingham News about our old historical house in Morris that I grew up in. Apparently the church directly in front of it, which my dad has always had a property battle with, wants to turn the woods right next to it into a parking lot. This may not sound alarming, but I wish you could have seen the land when my family first moved there back in 1989. The church was much smaller then and in an older building behind a patch of trees. Standing from our front porch, trees lined almost every side of the house, except for a portion of Counts Road where our driveway was. Over time, the church obtained more property, trees came down, and they eventually built a larger building (next to the smaller one) directly in front of our house while we were still living there. Due to small town politics, my dad was unable to purchase some of the land that is now in question to become yet another parking lot for the church, and it would be obscenely close to the house (less than 100 feet)…while also knocking out a beautiful patch of woods. You might be wondering what the big deal is, and it’s the fact that our old house is one of only two historical homes in the Morris area. It was built in 1898, and is just gorgeous. When my parents decided to move to Birmingham after my little brother graduated from high school, I was so sad to have to say goodbye to it. I almost have a human love for it, as if it is a person in my own family. So hearing of this news yesterday really hurt my heart. My dad and I (along with my dear friend Will) decided to make the trip out there last night for the Morris Town Hall meeting to hear its fate in person. Luckily, the current owner is fighting it with everything she’s got…but sometimes it is close to impossible to deal with small town mentality. Turns out that they are resubmitting the parking lot plans to the zoning committee so no decision was made last night after all. I hope they realize that historical value should always trump the need for a parking lot…especially when they have other options to expand. So frustrating and sad. It may not sound like it in this post, but I actually love Morris very much and am always glad to say I grew up there. But in times like these, I wish they would expand their horizons a little.
So, I turn 33 in a little over a month. I find myself having to process that thought a little more than other birthdays in the past. I am fairly certain it’s because we have preconceived notions of what our life should look like at certain points… and while I am close to what I envisioned, it still feels like something is off. Not necessarily in a bad way, it’s almost as if I’m on the horizon of something big and I’m having to wait. I talked to my mom for a little while last night on the phone before going to bed and we explored what might be making me feel this way. She felt pretty strongly that it was because I am moving to a new place mentally and that just takes a little while to get used to. Plus I am constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone in different ways, which is awesome and scary at the same time. I think it is OK to feel out of sorts every now and then, it’s very human. I just need to remember to be kind to myself and allow my feelings to be what they are as they happen. That’s the beauty of being alive.
Morris Town Hall Meeting
