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Happy almost weekend!! I’m not sure I could be any more excited about the days ahead. However, Birmingham does seemingly shut down for the most part on Memorial weekend. There are a few things still happening though, like the Sidewalk Salsa Showdown (you must go!) and the various farmers markets around town. Looks like we will be hitting up the river on Sunday with some friends to celebrate the holiday.
Summertime is always fun in the south. That’s when a lot of the characteristics that we know and love come out in full bloom – grill-outs by the pool/lake/river/ocean, bright sunny days spent in the porch shade, friends by the dozen, farmers markets, festivals, hammock time, etc. What I can’t believe is that it’s almost halfway through the year… it has absolutely flown by. I have started to notice since writing my blog that I seem to love almost every season as they come. 
Fall brings cooler air and mystery, winter is romantic and festive, while spring brightens your world and brings new beginnings. There is joy to be found at all times of the year.
I’ve decided to make a list of things I love, since I haven’t done so in a while. Today’s will be warm weather themed!!
1. BONNAROO!!!
2. Sun dresses
3. Hats (that fit my head)
4. Lemonade
5. Sweet Tea Vodka
6. Pool time with SPF 1,000,000
7. Visiting the Gulf Coast
8. Peel & eat shrimp
9. Big fat sunglasses
10. Sandals
11. Road trips
12. Hot, sweaty runs
13. Cook-outs
14. Porch time (especially on Jenny Faye’s!)
15. Lightning bugs
16. Long weekends
17. Vacation mentality
Here is a special Friday treat for all of you!
It’s a bean!
Jenny and I like to bring each other to work. 
Morning flowers.
Dinner with Brandi.
It’s an afternoon post! The day started off with a 4.5 mile run with Ms. Vero on our special alley route through Forest Park. It’s a very different experience running in alleys as opposed to the roads, almost like being in another city all together. Seeing someone’s backyard is almost like seeing them in their underwear (ha!)…. because it is highly personal and only meant for special company. I almost always notice something new on each run, like a rooster wind compass here and a mini glass greenhouse there. Sometimes you even run into the homeowners themselves walking their dogs in their pj’s. Most of them greet us with a smile and others…. well, aren’t so nice. We ran into a really grumpy lady today that gave us the stink eye for a good 30 feet. It is almost like we are running on private property, but not quite. Our alley route is referred to as the “hilly” run, and it is super easy to get lost in the intricate maze. It’s usually an adventure to find our way through the neighborhoods.
Since I am so late with today’s post, I promise to write more tomorrow very early on. I hope you are having a wonderful, peaceful Thursday.
Today I’ve been given a word assignment: Trust
It’s actually pretty tough to base a post around a word. I don’t think I have any negative associations with the word trust, as I usually have a fairly good sense of who around me is worthy of it. I take that back… you know, about a month ago someone did betray my trust, and I don’t even know if they realize it. It made me very angry with them, and I was taken back by the danger they could have placed me in with the private information they shared. I never confronted that individual about it though, instead I just made a permanent mental note.
To trust is an optimistic action, because along with it comes the risk of losing a belief. It shows that you believe in something or somebody as true until otherwise proven wrong. In that sense, trust and belief are very similar ideas…and maybe even faith. Some of my greatest vulnerabilities and sensitivities were caused by someone I trusted hurting me. A betrayal of trust is nothing short of cruel, like someone smiling while they slap you in the face. When I was young, if someone I trusted told me something about myself – whether good or bad – I believed it. I gave the wrong people and ideas too much power for a long time. It was a hard habit to break…and I don’t think that I learned to trust myself over others until I was in my mid to late twenties. I think that is a huge part of my ambition and drive to do big things, because accomplishing them confirms that I can in fact believe in myself. I can trust that I will finish something that I start. I can trust that I will always try to be the best person I can be. Still some of that is fear driven, but I think I genuinely love the things that I pursue. I’ve started to let go of the notion that I have something to prove to anyone else, that the only things worth doing are the things that bring me joy. It’s also where forgiving myself, as I spoke about yesterday, becomes a very important thing.
When I think about the people who I love the most, it’s because I trust them a great deal. They are genuine. We’ve shown each other an equal amount of respect, transparency and care. Not everyone is worthy of that, so when you find those special souls you keep them forever.
I trust that the future can be anything I want it to be. That most things happen to us for a purpose and our ultimate benefit. I trust that we probably know more than we ever believe that we do. And I trust that I am living the best life that I can with what I’ve been given.
If you would like to suggest a word or a thought for me to do a post on, please send it my way either in person, comment or private message. Thanks for giving me the idea, Jeff. And thanks for the word James!
I love it when a Monday turns out to be special. Last night after work I went for a super hot four mile run with Vero…sometimes a good workout can do wonders for how you feel. Afterwards I was high as a kite, happy as a cucumber. We met David for dinner at Silvertron when we finished and relaxed over lots of water and a glass of wine. Later on I went to my dear friend Misty’s apartment, whom I haven’t seen in what feels like ages. We caught up on everything going on in each others lives. It was really nice to spend time with her and her fiancé Deke.
I woke up several times last night from the storms that passed through. I turned off my air unit at some point so I could just listen to the thunder rolling outside. There are few things more peaceful than rain in the middle of the night. When I was younger I used to be so afraid of being alone in the dark, to the point of keeping myself up for hours in fear. I was mostly afraid of ghosts and spirits, of not being able to “see” what I could feel all around me. I don’t know if our 100-year-old house was really haunted, but it sure looked and felt like it was. To this day I am still fascinated by the thought of places being haunted, and with the kinds of spirits or energies that hang around a location instead of moving on. If they do get stuck in our earthly existence, then it’s probably not for happy reasons.
When I think of the word forgiveness, it is usually in respect of forgiving other people. Sometimes I give myself a harder time than I deserve, or I dwell on things that I may perceive as being a mistake on my part in the past. I’ve found that if I give myself the freedom of forgiveness as easily as I would to another person, I am able to let it go peacefully. Just the simple phrase – I forgive myself – has tremendous power. Sometimes our biggest bully is in fact ourselves, and I think that can be true for me more often than it should. But on the flip side, I am definitely my biggest cheerleader, too.
The Baby Kitty
Dinner with Vero & David
Since I wanted to have a low-key night on Friday, I asked my friend Micah if she wanted to swing in some hammocks and relax a bit. Of course she said yes, and by the time I arrived at her house she already had two hammocks strung up ready to go in her front yard. This is something that she does often, in fact, when she used to live in Key West she slept in an outdoor hammock for almost six months. I like the way a hammock wraps around your body, completely encasing you in a cocoon only exposing only the sky above. We hung out there for hours, just talking and swinging. It was perfect.
Saturday I was in Atlanta again to see the Flaming Lips concert with James at Centennial Park. I didn’t really know what to expect from them, but I had heard that their concerts were crazy good. While I only knew a handful of songs, it was easily one of the most visually exciting concerts I’ve ever been to. If you aren’t easily offended by nude people (ha!), then I highly recommend going to one of their shows. I also had my first corn dog of 2012, which was everything I’d hoped it would be!
I can’t believe that Bonnaroo is only a little over two weeks away!! Ahhhh!!! Might die of excitement. I’ve already started making my lists of all the things I want to bring for food, camping, and entertainment. I’m sure this year will bring a whole new set of experiences and memories. It’s very much like leaving the world as you know it, and entering a unique realm that only a music festival can create. This year I will be better prepared for the sun, dirt and camp life as well. However, I do think that Chez and I did a pretty good job last year without knowing what to expect… even if we did have to duct tape our tent together at 1:30 a.m. on the first night. 
My life has changed so much since this time last year. I feel completely healed and whole, and have been for quite some time now. I think certain things have started happening to me that signify that transition as well. Sometimes you don’t know you’ve moved on to another chapter until you are already several pages deep. In fact, I feel like I’ve started to reach a whole new level of self-awareness and appreciation for what I’ve got right at this very moment. Self high-five for making it to this new and wonderful place!
Third Friday at Naked Art Gallery
Hammock time with Micah.
Corndogs!!
A wonderful night.
Sunday Mimosas
Atlanta Streets Alive Festival
Sorry for today’s later-than-usual post! It’s been a busy Friday morning. I started it off with a five-mile run with Vero – and thank goodness she was there to help keep me motivated. As we were running by one of the Highland Avenue parks, we saw a big Do Dah Day shoot taking place with lots of cute puppy dogs running around everywhere. I totally forgot that it was tomorrow!! One of the best events that we have in Birmingham and always well attended. The parade starts at 11:01 sharp on the Highland Golf Course side of Highland Avenue, and stops at Caldwell Park. The best seats in the house are always at Rojo, but you have to get there pretty early to claim those. If you’ve been looking for a new pet, especially a dog, there will be several adoption agencies on site where you might find your new best friend. They also have a stage set-up for music and local food vendors will be there as well. You should GO!!
It’s been a super fun week full of friends and fun, and this weekend should also be pretty amazing. I love Fridays so much…there is always an excitement in the air and smiles everywhere you look. I doubt I will do much of anything this evening since I’ve been so busy, but I look forward to the adventures to be had on Saturday & Sunday. Happy weekend!!!
Lily Bean loves to feed her baby doll.
Looking forward to this June wedding for two dear friends.
Micah always has the best hair.
Micah’s chalkboard.
This morning as I was leaving my house to run with Vero, I noticed a happy little songbird perched up on one of the power lines above my front door. I decided to quickly take a photo of him before he flew away, but he seemed undisturbed by my presence. I snuck up closer and closer, and he continued to sing without a care in the world. It’s little throat was going in and out rapidly making a beautiful song filling up the quiet morning air. He kept checking me out from time to time to make sure I wasn’t doing anything too suspicious by tilting it’s head to the side. It was still singing as I drove off. I was three minutes late getting to Vero’s because of this.
Last night I had my monthly date with Debbie at the J Clyde. It had been close to six weeks since the last time we met, so we had a lot to catch up on. While she was talking to me last night I started thinking about the evolution of our friendship and the nature of the meet-ups that we’ve had in the last year or so. Our conversations are usually pretty epic since we touch base on all aspects of life. I confide some of my deepest secrets to her because I know she will not judge me, and I know that it won’t leave that table. I think that she feels the same way. Last night I noticed an amazing change in her… there was something, different. Not that she isn’t normally happy, but there was a glow about her that just made me smile. There was peace coming from her face, and it was contagious. I think it is incredibly inspiring to watch someone’s life unfold, especially when they deserve the world. Debbie definitely has some good karma coming her way that I think is only just beginning.
I have some pretty amazing people surrounding me right now on all fronts. I wonder if it is a reflection of the energy that I give off in return? I hope so. When I start to think about each one individually, it starts to overwhelm me a little bit. Because there are so many. All with a different purpose or importance. Tonight I get to see my dear friend Micah, who I’ve known now for almost 5 years. We met back when I used to work at McWane Science Center. I’m not really sure how or why we hit it off, but it was pretty instant. When I think about her, the word constant comes to mind. She is someone that I will know forever, no doubt. Even if we don’t speak for months, we can pick up right where we left off. I am so grateful for her and all of my other life companions.
Drinks with Debbie!
Mr. Morning Songbird
The Burger Coalition dinner last night was so much fun! Our group in Birmingham couldn’t have been any better for the inaugural meet-up. It was Dan Gavin (host), Kate Evans, Scott Pierce, Stacey Hood, Jamie Golden and myself. I think we probably laughed for about 2 1/2 hours straight, along with having some really great conversation and food. Our burgers at Ollie Irene were just perfect – we all ordered medium rare with the truffle butter. Sooooooo delicious. Ollie Irene has easily become one of my top 3 restaurants in Birmingham, so if you haven’t been you absolutely MUST GO. The group in Atlanta also had an amazing night with Mr. James. I’m not sure when the sign-ups start for the next coalition (probably the 1st), but if you live in either city you should definitely try to go to one in the near future. They only take the first 5 that sign up each month once registration opens, so pay attention! Each TBC will be at a new place in town, eventually sampling all the yummy burgers in the city. You can also suggest a restaurant on their website if you have a favorite. I think mine is a tie between Ollie Irene and Chez Fonfon! A lot of people are saying that the new Saw’s Soul Kitchen in Avondale has a pretty mean burger too, so I need to try that very soon.
I’m not going to make a habit out of this, but I got two more comments yesterday worth repeating on the idea of comparing yourself to other people, or letting accomplishments determine your self-worth. This was from Dale – “Speaking of ‘measuring up,’ I like the old saying: “Never compare your insides to other people’s outsides.” (I LOVE that.) And this was from my friend Jennifer Dome – “…I know what you mean about not feeling productive enough, at times. Maybe that’s why so many sayings we learn (Time heals all wounds. Good things come to those who wait.) all have to do with time. Because giving ourselves enough time is important. The need to rush and turn out our “product,” whatever that may be, seems never-ending. But maybe that’s a new-found notion because we just haven’t come to understand what it is we really want/need to produce for ourselves in our lives.” Some food for thought on this Wednesday, for sure.
Pickled Cherry Lime Rickey at Ollie Irene
The first Birmingham Burger Coalition.
Stamped menu.
The Ollie Irene signature burger with truffle butter.
Cheers to medium rare!
Paper James made it to the Birmingham TBC!
Delicious burger cake bite (butter cake with peanut butter frosting) made by @JamiesRabbit
Sometimes I deliberately avoid my blog dashboard so I won’t be too influenced by if people are actually reading or not. What seems to happen is that I begin to believe that no one reads at all, since my entries don’t necessarily generate a lot of comments or likes. But then, when I am brave enough to actually look, I see that there are just as many readers as ever checking in on me. What’s really amazing is that you know when I post – you know my schedule. That makes me really happy. Thank you for reading my blog.
I got a really good comment on my post from yesterday from my friend Lisa that I thought others might find valuable: “…I wanted to share some insight a mentor faculty mentor passed on to me at a very important phase in my life. I was worried I wasn’t being “productive” enough and when I told her so, she gently smiled and taught me that productivity isn’t just about physical action and that it’s good (imperative!) to trust your own brain’s process for development and need for rest/recuperation.” Isn’t that great advice? I too often compare myself to other people as if constantly looking to see if I measure up, or if I’m good enough. There is also another side to her advice that I found helpful – that the process of life has its own agenda. You can control it up to a point and steer it in the direction you’d like to go, but you ultimately just have to go with the flow. Learning to relax a little bit and enjoy the ride is a true talent and gift that takes a little bit of practice. I’ve gotten much better at it, but still have a ways to go.
I have found as well that with each year my idea of happiness changes. In the past I think accomplishing huge things made me feel better about myself and also excited me to no end, and while that is still true…. I now find myself looking more for unique experiences to feed my soul. I like being with people who inspire me, I like new ideas and places, I like rediscovering things with a whole new perspective. Still I find myself wanting to turn my experiences into something tangible, which I do to some extent with my blog. I think that’s why a book calls to me right now, because I can apply some of my feelings, thoughts and experiences to a character that I have free creative range with. James has offered to help keep me accountable to a schedule, which I will take him up on. It is really hard for me to share the content of my book though with other people, which I am going to have to get over really fast. It is highly personal and makes me feel very vulnerable for several reasons. I think because a lot of what I write about has actually happened to me, and also I worry that I’m not a very good writer. That book is a lot like looking into my soul, and I worry that it might be too much for another person. But, I also know that is a very silly thought and goes against my desire of being truly authentic. It excites me that I’m reaching so deep to create something of such importance, because that’s also how I know that people will probably find value in reading it.
Speaking of important personal projects, The Burger Coalition is tonight! It’s the brain baby of James & Dan, and I was lucky enough to get my name in the hat for the Birmingham group’s dinner this evening at Ollie Irene. The idea is simple – to share a good meal (specifically, a burger) and have good conversation… hopefully with people who you don’t know or see often. James & Dan make a dynamic duo of sorts, as they seem to have this magic between them that makes collaborative projects happen with ease. You’ve heard the saying before that there are “sayers” and “doers”, well, they are definitely doers. And it is so inspiring. I will be glad to say that I was in the first one, and I will report back tomorrow on how it went!
Belated Mother’s Day dinner at Silvertron Cafe!
Another Monday, another wonderful weekend. Vero had a great turnout on Friday night for the Love Your Mama Fest, which I guest bartended for. I am an expert sangria pourer, if I say so myself. Saturday I headed to Atlanta again to see a certain JM, and it was a lovely time as always. However, I did have a major rice krispy treat fail…so I will need a redo on that project. Not only did I not have enough marshmallows, I probably shouldn’t have refrigerated them for an extended amount of time. They basically tasted like sugar bricks. I’m fairly certain that if you threw one at someone’s head, it would knock them out cold. Either that or make a really funny crunchy noise and break into a thousand little pieces.
This is going to be a pretty big week after hours, as I think I have something going on almost every night. Perhaps the thing I am looking forward to the most is The Burger Coalition dinner tomorrow night at Ollie Irene! Then on Wednesday night, I have my monthly drinks with Debbie date. But I do fear that we went a little longer than a month between the last time we saw each other. That just means we have extra to catch up on!
Last night when I got back into town, I curled up on the couch with Baby Kitty and listened as the storms passed by. I had my pj’s on, put on a good movie, and messed around on the computer. It was so peaceful and comforting. I had every intention of going to the grocery store and running a few other errands before this week got started, but it just felt right to be still and chill with my kitty. What is it that’s so exciting about thunder and lightning? Maybe it’s the danger, or maybe it’s because most plans have to change when bright lights fill the sky. A big electrical storm is always a little unexpected, especially when you’ve paid zero attention to the weather reports. If it had been perfect outside, I might have been a little ashamed for being so unproductive. But since it wasn’t, I felt I had every right to become glued to my sofa. It was a great Sunday night.
I’ve been playing a waiting game on something very important for the past 3-4 months. I can’t directly speak of it yet, but it’s been a goal of mine for quite some time. Patience is truly a virtue, and most of the time I am good at it. Honestly, when I look back on the beginning of the process, it’s been an enormous blessing that things didn’t work out the way I had initially planned. It’s almost as if someone has been looking out for me, being able to see the bigger picture when I couldn’t. And, I still can’t. All I know is that I’m pretty happy right this very second, and I’m doing all I can to move in the direction that I want to go. That’s all you can really do….while enjoying the process of life.
Strawberry basil sangria at Naked Art for the Love Your Mama Fest.
Cute family. Thanks for coming to see me Sarah!!
Mr. James Martin
Me! (btw – we shared that monster marg)
