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Happy Friday, and February! This week has been a full one, with much success accomplishing a pretty big to-do list. Also – happy to report that I lost 10 pounds in the month of January… despite the one evening off for Twelve. James has lost 12. So proud of us both! February is the last full month we will have to dedicate to getting back to our healthy weight ranges. More than likely our goals will be reached the first or second week of March.
I can’t believe it’s February… which means it’s officially birthday month! 
I love my birthday, but still haven’t decided exactly what I will be doing. I will be in Birmingham the weekend before, and looks like a bunch of friends will be gathering at Avondale Park for a duel birthday party for me and Sherri Ross. I will be doing a post later today on Twitter and Facebook about it if any friends would like to join. Just bring yourself and fun! Little ones welcome. On my birthday weekend I will be going to Columbus to see my niece, Anna, whose birthday is also that week! Then on my actual birthday, February 17th, I will spend the day with my bb in Atlanta. Maybe we will explore the city on our bikes in order to burn enough calories to eat a nice dinner somewhere. 
That would be my perfect day!
Times change fast. Last night I got to say goodbye to a dear friend of mine, Misty, who is moving away to start a new life with her husband in South Carolina. It made me think about all of the memories we’ve shared together, and how just a few years can be so impactful on your life. In many ways Misty has been a mentor, having a distinct intuition and insight on career and personal matters which she has always been kind enough to share with me. More than anything else though, she has always been a great friend when I’ve needed one most. I can’t wait to see what the next chapter in her life brings, and I also can’t wait to visit her to build new memories.
Today I feel so very grateful for the many things I have to look forward to. Especially the surprises. I feel alive, empowered, healthy and loved. Maybe it’s because the sun is shining or maybe because it’s Friday… no matter the reason I am so very happy in this life.
Dang, I have a cold. Lucky it isn’t anything worse, but I still feel like a slug stuck in bubble gum. But there is some good news – I have lost 8.5 pounds! James has lost 10. Crazy to think that we are both basically halfway towards our goals. In the moment time seems to pass slowly when you are counting calories, however looking back it has actually gone by pretty fast. We are both looking forward to our maintenance phase so we can start learning how to eat again on a normal caloric budget. One thing we’ve both done well is to not call our new way of eating a diet, instead we’ve both embraced it as a lifestyle change. We have discovered the joy (and frugalness) of sharing entrees instead of getting our own. We both love having a variety of foods so sharing gives us the opportunity to try more while eating less.
Yesterday was James’ birthday! We had a great time this weekend celebrating the occasion. I’m not kidding when I say that a strikingly large number of my good friends were born in the month of January. Almost every day there is another person I know well to say happy birthday to. On another awesome note, we’ve officially entered into Aquarius, my own birthday sign. In a little over three weeks I will be 34! Turning another year older always makes me think about my life plans and dreams. Last night I made a rough grid of what I’d like to accomplish or have happen to me in the next 10 years or so. I know you can’t predict the future, but you can definitely steer it in the right direction.
More good news: We’ve all made it past the most depressing day of the year – Monday, January 21st. This online article from has some good advice and tricks to help get you through these dreary days. Before we know it, spring and summer will be here again to brighten our worlds.
Right now the Sundance and Slamdance Film Festivals are going on in Park City, Utah. One of my bigger goals is to one day have a feature film in one of the two. I know in order to get there, I must write my book first which will hopefully either fully fund or partially fund that film project. I think it’s a good plan, and I know I can do it. I’ve been writing really well the past few weeks, but I know I must keep pushing forward on a consistent basis. Sometimes while writing I think about how much more there is still left to do, and I get overwhelmed. So tonight I am going to break it down into mini goals and milestones. I want to be finished with it by the end of the year, no matter how much work and time it takes me. I will fully dedicate myself to this one project above all other personal initiatives for 2013. Because once it’s finished, I feel like it will be a total game changer for my life path.
can i help you?
A birthday party for James, Jesse & Liza!
the falcons game!
A very grateful thanks to my fellow bloggers Sherri Ross and Jennifer Dome who both gave me an Inspiring Blog Award this week! These ladies are not only friends of mine, but a huge inspiration to the community on so many levels. They are both funny, smart, strong, independent, passionate women. Add their blogs to your daily reading, you won’t regret it.
This morning was my first official weigh-in in my mini quest to lose some weight, and I am happy to report that I’ve lost 3 pounds! The first week of any healthy eating program is usually the most successful weight-loss wise, but I hope to maintain a 2 pound weekly loss until I reach my goal. James was also successful in week 1, so we are on the right track! We have been tracking our calories in MyPlate on Livestrong.com, based on our height, weight, gender and age (on the light activity setting, b/c you can add exercise as you do it). Of all the “diets” and lifestyle changes I’ve tried in the past (and I’ve tried them ALL), calorie counting is the easiest and most reliable thing to do. And… it’s free!! As for the foods we try to eat, I always try to include at least 15 grams of fiber per day (to keep you full) and opt for a well-balanced diet. I try to eat things that I look forward to having, and build in a treat every now and then like a glass of wine. If I exercise, I allow myself half of those additional burned calories. It’s such an easy formula, and will work for almost anyone. An important thing to remember too is that you don’t want to lose more than 2 pounds a week (with the exception of your first and possibly second week) as statistically you are more likely to gain it back.
I know what is termed as yo-yo dieting, gaining and losing weight repeatedly within a certain amount of time, is hard on your body. In my lifetime I have certainly fluctuated within ranges that would fall in this category. I know ideally I would stay a certain weight for the rest of my life. But somehow I can’t seem to shake the feeling of gratitude in my confidence to return to a certain size. I know how to lose weight, I know how to be healthy. I may go on sabbatical from time to time, but I know I can get back to my happy place. Sometimes I even wonder if I get a thrill from the challenge…almost setting myself up to do it all again. I don’t think that is the truth though… I just think that I find happiness in being able to let go sometimes, and I also find happiness in snapping back into a routine with proven results. Whatever the case, I am very grateful to not have to lose too much. My goal should be reached by the end of February/early March. I think the real weight-loss heroes are the ones with a significant amount to lose – because their focus has to be on target for a longer amount of time. I find people with passionate determination, for any personal initiative, the most inspiring of them all.
Speaking of passionate initiatives, I feel like I have so many things that light a fire in me right now. There is nothing more rewarding that working on things that make you feel excited inside. Between working on Twelve with James (which has some exciting future prospects), writing my book, and other creative ideas in the works – I feel fulfilled. Funny how none of these things are monetary, isn’t it? I find great joy in a plan… figuring out how to make things work. A lot of my free time is spent dreaming or developing a course of action for goals large and small. If the key to happiness is as simple as working on things that make you feel alive, then by George… what are we waiting for?
I found out yesterday (from the most random person) that I am in Woman’s World this month! I knew it was going to happen, but I hadn’t been keeping an eye out. I tried to find it yesterday at a handful of places with no luck…so I probably need to go to a newsstand to pick it up. After I heard that it was out, things started to click in my brain. My blog had gotten a lot of comments in the “bikini” section in past few days, so I checked my stats just to see if my traffic was any different…and it’s been 3 x’s the regular amount since Saturday or Sunday. If anyone can actually get a photo of what the article looks like and send it to me, that would be amazing! This shoot in particular was especially goofy, as they made me do a double thumbs up for a few shots… so you can imagine I’m a little scared of what the final image turned out to be. 
For everyone new visiting my blog, you can read about my journey in the “Timeline” section above. I had disabled that page about a month back for no real reason, but since I have new people who would like to read about my weight-loss I turned it back on. Basically, if you go back to the very beginning of my blog (day 1) the first six months are purely about how & why I decided to lose weight. The Timeline also offers links to big milestone posts for those of you who would just like the highlights. Thanks for visiting and I hope you come back often!
There are many things to be excited about these days. I feel that I am in a good place right now, with lots of opportunities on the fire. When I leave my house in the morning I find myself thinking that today is going to be a good day. Flowers are already starting to bloom outside there is a sparkle of green in the trees. Even if some of my big ideas and goals don’t come to fruition, I still feel lucky to just be me… right here, right now. I was talking to a friend yesterday who was down, and I told them the same thing I told myself a few weeks back when I felt like I was in the same boat. You just have to keep trying, keep putting yourself out there, keep moving forward, and it will get better. And, it always does. Also realizing that you already have so much puts things into perspective too. Last night while hanging out with my family eating healthy baked potatoes, I felt extremely lucky. Lucky that I actually like hanging out with my family, and lucky that I will always have a place where I am accepted. That in itself is a lot to be thankful for.
Weigh-In Wednesday: 152.8
It looks cold outside, and according to my phone it is a chilly 47 degrees. Cold weather makes me want to indulge in some of my greatest comforts – snuggly sweaters, blankets, heaters and warm drinks like hot chocolate or decaf coffee. It also makes me want to stay under the covers a little longer in the morning. One of the absolute worst feelings when it’s cold outside is to try and run… it’s the pits. Since you know you are going to eventually get warm, and fast, you have to dress accordingly, so that first 10 minutes sucks like no other. Can you tell that I’m looking forward to that?
I’m going to go out on a limb here (oh wait, I was already on one…) and say that the feeling of winter is a very similar to the state of mind that encourages you to gain weight. Winter is not comfortable, you need to put things on your body in order to protect yourself and feel warm. I think sometimes we enter into hard phases of life and all we want to do it eat to put on those same type of layers to prevent certain things from happening to us. When we don’t feel good about how we look, we think we don’t have to worry so much about someone loving us then hurting us, or making us not feel important because we’ve already done that to ourselves. Emotional eating is almost a control thing – I’m going to hurt myself before you can. And sometimes once you start indulging that void with food, it’s hard to stop. You get bigger and start superficially proving to yourself that you aren’t worth it, all the while falling down a deep dark hole that’s very hard to get back out of. As someone who has crawled back out of that hole, I still feel very vulnerable to it because it will always be in my line of sight. But luckily for me I can see more clearly now to avoid falling in it. I am not interested in punishing myself anymore, I am only interested in finding and experiencing happiness. And it’s all as simple as a choice. We are never out of control. You are fooling yourself if you think otherwise.
Another similar thing that I like to remember from time to time is that nobody can make you feel anything. Common phrases like “you hurt me” or “you made me do this” are completely false. A person can only hurt you if you allow them to. You’ve made a choice to let them. I always think that is incredibly interesting as someone who pretty often lets other people dictate how I feel. I am very happy to say though that happens much less often now, and if it does, I am able to put it into perspective really fast. It gives me great power to know that a smile or a good mood is just one smart choice away.
Weigh-In Wednesday #79: 151.2
OK – so this is COMPLETELY RANDOM and unplanned… but yesterday I was talking about my blog strategy with my coworker & friend Sarah, and she mentioned that she had just come across a blog on how to make your own better. She couldn’t remember anything but one point off of the top of her head, and that was to go back to the prior year’s entry and write something based on your life exactly one year ago. She even sent me the article, which I haven’t read yet, but that one idea stuck with me. So this morning I went to look and see what my entry was exactly one year ago today… and do you know what it was? It was the official Weigh-In Wednesday where I had completed my weight-loss goal! You can read it here. I honestly thought it was later this month, but it is indeed today. What a proud moment for me to relive. It is actually a little bit of a mind trip to see where I was in my life at that time outside of the weight-loss. A lot can happen in a year.
Most of my goals from that time are very different compared to what they are now. While my health & weight will always be something I watch very closely, I’m not as driven by it as I once was. This time last year the end-all-be-all was my next race or next wellness challenge. Now, it’s much more laid back and more about being in the here and now. Sometimes I think I haven’t made much progress towards being content, but when I compare myself to just a year ago I know I have come a long way already.
What is ever funnier is that I ended my blog post this time last year on the book I want to write… and my thoughts behind it now are pretty different. Some of the best ideas come to me when I am going to sleep, and I had an especially good one last night for the structure/concept of it. I’ve struggled with whether or not it would be fiction or nonfiction, where the actual timeline would fall if it was based on The Jen West Quest, etc. But I think I’ve finally got it! It literally struck like lightning, and I’ve been waiting sooooo long for it to come to me. It will be fiction based on fact, with creative liberties based on the story. I’ve always felt boxed in by my own story, so I think the answer is to create a whole new character with her own identity. To give you a general idea, I’m thinking the concept is based on a seemingly “normal” girl who is living the life she’d really like to have through an anonymous blog, and trouble ensues when her separate identities start to collide with one another. I think that’s a pretty good shell to work off of, and I have plenty of ideas and visuals already to go along with it. I needed something simple to give me a definitive structure and inspiration, and by George, I think that’s it.
Happy one year anniversary to me!!!
To say that yesterday was an amazing day would be an understatement. We went over 50% of our goal yesterday on day 1 of our Kickstarter campaign for CRUSH thanks to family, friends and supporters. That is a pretty big deal and we are both so grateful for the contributions. An extra special thank-you goes out to my dear friend Vero who will be donating 10% of her sales at Naked Art this Friday night to our movie. Click here to learn more about the event! Hope to see you there.
In other big news, I woke up this morning with no more pain in my throat!! YAY!! I literally felt like someone had punched me on both sides of my neck all weekend so it is a huge relief not to feel that way anymore. In fact, I think I feel well enough to go for a run this afternoon… so that’s exactly what I’ll do!
October will be my one year anniversary of losing weight. It still blows my mind sometimes to think that much time has passed by, and also that it’s been so much easier to keep the weight off than I ever anticipated. I once again attribute my success to this blog and posting my weekly weigh-ins for everyone to see. Also, seeing a therapist has helped a great deal too. Even though I originally started seeing her because of my divorce, we have now shifted focus to other areas of my life. She has helped me realize that our bodies are pretty resilient, and if we don’t abuse them then they will reward us kindly. I was always scared to start eating a normal day’s amount of calories, thinking that my body was different and that I would gain all of the weight back. That has not been the case at all. In fact, as long as I eat within reason, my weight doesn’t really fluctuate at all. That is a pretty amazing thing and it just keeps surprising me. I’ve also discovered that taking away some of the pressure and anxiety off of my body image helps me to relax and actually enjoy food. And food is a wonderful thing!!
The path to greatness is along with others. – Baltasar Gracian
A cool breeze through your hair. Light rain drops on your skin. Sunshine on your face. Grass in between your toes. Cold water in your mouth. Good food in your stomach. A soft pillow at night. A baby’s smile. And the Tour de France playing on TV 24-7. Yes, these are the good things in life.
I’m looking forward to a fun & productive day. First, I am considering going for a longer run than usual – maybe 7 to 8 miles. Then after a quick shower, my mom and I are going to hit-up some brunch and have a mimosa (or two). After that, I will be painting for the rest of the day. If I discovered anything yesterday, it’s that my new place has LOTS of eight-legged friends… all of which must die. I swear I killed 20 spiders yesterday and cleared equally as many cobwebs. Yuck.
I think it’s high time that I give myself a pat on the back for maintaining my weight-loss so well. It will be a year this October since I lost all of the weight – a great accomplishment. Maintaining can be as hard as losing sometimes, because there is no end-date when the effort can stop. You will always have to watch the scale, watch your calories and keep up the exercise. The longer you can keep it off, the better your chances. I don’t think the stats are really in your favor until you’ve kept the weight off for three years, so there is still a long road ahead. But while I’ve been on this journey, I have found a way to enjoy life. I can still eat foods that I love, and exercise has become something that I look forward to. It’s all about finding a balance, as with anything else. There are good weeks and not so good weeks, but I make it work. Self high-five for that!!!!
Feeling a little down this morning because of reasons I can’t express. However, I am really looking forward to my test run today and having brunch with Stephen Vinson, Will Nevin & Chez Knox! Later on I am meeting with another friend who is starting up her own weight-loss blog to help her with a plan of action. Then tonight is the Super Bowl! I couldn’t tell you what teams are playing, but I’m still excited to watch… especially the commercials.
I am more than ready for spring to be here… the winter has felt long and brutal this year. While it is pretty chilly this morning, the sun is shining bright and the sky is blue. Is there anything more promising than a clear sky? I’m thinking of doing some light yoga in the park after my run this morning just to feel the energy of the sun. I need the warm rays to lighten my soul today.
Last night I spent some alone time at a local coffee shop working on my book. As I’ve said more than once before, this project is extremely hard and a little overwhelming. But on the positive side, it is enlightening and powerful to dig deep for the words to say. One of the main problems I’ve been having is with structure – what to put in, and what to leave out. What to say, and what not to say. I know good and well that I shouldn’t be worried about those types of things at this point in the project, the main priority is to just get content on paper… good or bad. The next phase is to weed out the junk and decide on what’s worth keeping in. Sometimes I feel like the things I write are self-indulgent, if that makes any sense. I also worry a lot about grammar and dialog formatting. Once again – all things that I can fix later!! The only thing that matters now is finding the story and creating the content to work with for the next phase.
I’m going to go and try to cheer myself up on this beautiful Sunday. Happy Super Bowl!
Tarot Card Readings at Naked Art!
Christmas was WONDERFUL up until last night when my dad and I & got into a fight over a Chicago style pizza. Everyone was so tired… doing a whole lot of nothin’ in tight quarters for over 24 hours will give anyone cabin fever. Without boring you with all of the details, Mike and I accidentally ate one of my dad’s pizzas that turned out to be a Christmas present from my future brother-in-law. He had carefully packaged them (there were 4) in a cooler and drove the pizzas all the way down here himself. Of course I wouldn’t have eaten the damn pizza if I knew its sentimental value… but it was already digesting in our stomachs when I discovered the severity of the situation. My dad did his best to disguise his hurt feelings that eventually turned into anger, and when I got wind that he was upset I confronted him about it. That’s when all hell broke loose – there were tears and I ended up leaving the house for the rest of the night. All of the innocent bystanders were left bewildered & confused. We eventually made-up via text message… and now it’s just downright funny that all of the drama was stirred up over a freakin’ sausage pizza. Of course I’m sorry that I ate it, and of course he’s sorry that he let a large piece of dough w/ marinara sauce get him so worked up. Ah – the joys of Christmas!!! I am very grateful to have a family that rallies behind forgiveness when a silly fight like this one breaks out, and then have the sense of humor to laugh about it later.
Today I am taking a “me” day full of relaxation & naps. In between snoozes I’ll head to the gym to get in a 5-6 mile run & a 30 minute swim. It’s gonna be just what the doctor ordered!!!
Snowing on Christmas day!
