I got a note from The Universe this morning:
Do you ever feel nostalgic for the good old days, Jennifer? Before this life began, when you buzzed with happy talk, walked on happy feet, and loved with happy friends obsessed with one thing and one thing only… the possibilities, the challenges, and the adventures; the scares, the dares, and the comebacks; the glories, the miracles, and the triumphs that would all be made possible once you became Jennifer West?
Well, yeah, I suppose not.
Welcome to the highest heights,
I LOVE getting these emails. You can too by signing up here. I’ve been receiving them since December of last year, and I always open the second they arrive in my inbox. They make me think about my value and potential. Most importantly, they make me feel excited about life.
This particular note reminded me of what it feels like to be right out of high school through my early 20’s. The possibilities were grand, and I had a whole life ahead of me to accomplish my dreams. The greatest thrill of all was the unknown.
I still have that, but I see more clearly what happens with specific actions. The unknown appears to be a little more predictable. Sometimes it takes the mystery out of life… but I’ve also learned that I can still be surprised. I think it’s important to remember that the possibilities are never-ending, no matter what age you are. Your life isn’t a template. No one is making you do the same thing every day, or forcing you to make certain decisions. We can sculpt our existence into anything we want, by using the means in which we have access to.
My 38th birthday is next week. I always have existential revelations that accompany turning another year older. 40 is around the corner, and boy, am I ever aware of that. Have I done all I wanted to do by then? What will my 40’s look like? What does it mean to be a 40-something year old woman? I feel getting older is a little bit different from a man’s experience. Though I have fears, I also know that I will define what every life milestone looks like for me. I believe I will excel in my professional life at that time. I want to kick some serious ass. I want to take care of my body, well-being, and soak in all the good stuff like a sponge. I want to create real works of art, especially in film.
At the beginning of the year I wrote down future life milestones that I hope to reach, all the way into my 80’s. Guys – life doesn’t end until your dead in the ground. And even then, you still linger around with all those people you’ve touched. I never want to stop making, creating, and living. When I was a child, I knew my 38th year would be a big one. I still think that. This is my time. But I also want to create new goals for myself further down the road. It makes me happy to visualize myself at 85 and what I’ll be doing at that time.