I wrote an unscheduled post last night about my issues with social anxiety.  I won’t go into all of the details again (you can read about it here), but I’ve got a mystery to solve for sure.

I’ve always had to deal with anxiety in some form or fashion.  A lot of people do.  As I have mentioned before in this blog, I was diagnosed with OCD when I was about 21.  Luckily with medication I was able to alleviate most of my symptoms.  But that is also about the time I started to put on the weight that I struggled with for so long.  Now that the weight is gone, some of my past insecurities have decided to resurface.  Most of it has to do with pressure… self-inflicted and otherwise.

I know the answer is to probably do less and ease up on myself.  So I have to ask, what can I do to give myself some flexibility?  For one – I need to give myself permission to not do anything sometimes and be OK with that.  I usually become restless when I have nothing to focus my energy on.  This is when I should find something peaceful to do like read a book or even draw.  The next thing I should do would be to give myself a big break on this book project.  I have been doing really well with my writing, but I’ve also put a needless & somewhat unrealistic time frame around it.  I need to let it breathe.  There is something to be said for handwriting some of my ideas too… typing on a computer seems to restrict my creativity and makes it seem too work-like.  I need to enjoy this process, that’s the only way I’m going to do my best job.

While I was a little hesitant to post such revealing information last night, I am so glad I did b/c the comments you posted really helped me make sense of it all.  I also talked about it with my husband when he can home.  Next time this happens, he wants me to tell him so we can work through it together.  Fixing it may be as simple as taking a quick walk outside to get some air and talking about it.

Vero continues to be one of my favorite people on the planet… she sent me something that made me smile.  It was a quote from Dr. Seuss:  “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Now… it’s time for Mike’s weekly bikini photo!  😀  We accidentally left the camera in the car last night, so when I brought it in this morning it fogged over due to the temperature change.  So sorry for the picture quality!!  Mike wants me to report that by this time next week, he will have his second goal of finishing his short film screenplay under his belt.  Go Mike!  (You can’t really tell from the photo, but I let him add another glove since he has been working so hard.)

Mike - Week 5