Fail.

Ok, I know I didn’t really fail… but it sure does feels like it.  I failed in the sense that I had a goal, and it didn’t happen under the conditions that I set for myself – regardless of if they were beyond my control.

For those of you who don’t know, my knee gave out on me at mile 5.  I know my Facebook page may have seemed confusing when I said that “I wanted to still do the last 6 in my bikini”, what I meant was skip to the last 6 miles and walk it.  To say that I was rockin’ & rollin’ up to mile 3 would be an understatement.  I was going at a sub-9 minute pace and my heart & body felt GREAT.  I could have maintained that pace throughout.  I was fueled properly, hydrated & my tunes were on go. But at mile 3 I started to get knee pain, and it just got more and more severe as I kept running.  When I realized at about mile 4.5 that I wasn’t going to make it, tears started falling down my face.  I fought it for another half a mile and eventually stopped at a nice police officer who let me borrow his cell phone to call Mike.  I literally couldn’t go one step further at that very second.  If I had, then it would have jeopardized the rest of my 2011 season with an even bigger injury (Half Ironman in April, Ironman in August).

I’m not here to make excuses.  What happened today happened, and it hurt my soul and ego more than you could ever imagine.  The only redeeming thought that got me through the day was the Marathon in Atlanta next month.  I am supposed to run the half with my sister Christy, but I’m going to bump it up to the full to boost my confidence back up (only if my knee gets a clean bill of health though).  Tomorrow I’m going to make an appointment with an orthopedic specialist to see what’s really going on, then start treating it ASAP.  The good news is that I feel no pain when I walk or do normal activities.  The severe pain only comes when I do a certain amount of running, and increases until I finally have to stop.  It might be optimistic, but I think it’s something that I can get fixed as long as I know what’s wrong.

The joy of today started once I pulled my head out of my own ass and remembered all of my dear friends who were still due to cross the finish line.  Mike made me a finisher’s medal that said “Most Awesomest” (below in pics), and then we were off to cheer them on!  We got to see Emily & Chez cross first, found my friend Laura Lind who had finished earlier, and then we went as a group to cheer for our friends Stephen Vinson and Will Nevin.  I cried several more times over the next hour or two, but it was out of happiness.  I feel so proud of them!

I’m so grateful that I took tomorrow off of work.  It will give me time to possibly squeeze in a last-minute doctor appointment for my leg, plus I need the quiet time to refocus myself.  I know things happen for a reason, and maybe my second marathon stab will be more successful than I could have ever imagined!!

Story of the Day: Will & Stephen as they cross the Half Marathon finish line!