Happy Mother’s Day!  As I spend time with my sister Christy in Georgia today, I realize just how much work being a mom is.  🙂  Anna Marie is almost a year & a half now, and all over the place!  She has so much energy and is becoming more & more independent everyday.  It’s exhausting just watching Christy keep up with her! 😉

Since I am odd man out this weekend (meaning the only one not in a “couple”), I got stuck with the floor mattress.  Don’t get me wrong… I am always grateful to have a place to lay my head at night, and to have such a wonderful family to call my own.  But I did feel a like I got the short end of the stick just because I didn’t have someone with me.  So as I was trying to fall asleep last night in a big empty room on the floor, I felt really lonely.  I guess that was bound to happen at some point.  I felt a strong urge at that moment to call someone or to get on the computer, but I decided that I needed to feel those emotions.  I can’t hide from the process, it’s going to find me one way or another.  Also, I think it’s really important to not be afraid of being “alone”.  I need to always be good enough company for myself.  I never want to rely on someone else for my happiness, instead, they should add to it.  Of course, all of this is much easier said than done… but I know I can get there if I just face everything head on.  No hiding, no avoiding.  The pain is there to go through and learn from.  You can’t have the good without the bad.

When I feel sad or down, my instinct is to focus on the things that I can control… like my body, job and free time.  As a result, I usually end up doing too much and exhausting myself.  I have felt very tired over the past few days.  So this week I’m really going to focus on balance in all things Jen West.  🙂  When I think of happiness for myself at this moment, I think of running in the woods, painting/creating art… just general “me time” doing the things I love to do the most.  Even though I feel lonely from time to time, I still crave solitude.  I think I am going to find my center again in those quiet moments.