Weigh-In Wednesday: 148.2

Last night I had dinner with my friend & mentor Elizabeth Bradley Hunter (read her blog here), whose script writing class I took when I wrote “Piece of Cake” back in 2006. Since then I’ve felt a special bond with her even though we only see each other face-to-face a few times a year. She seems to pop up out of nowhere especially when I need direction in life. We talked a lot about dreams, ambition and life in general. She is very aware that I have a desperate need to feel acknowledgement from other people for my own validation as a human being, because we’ve had this very same conversation 6 years ago when I was making my film. If I’m not successful to other people, then it doesn’t matter how important it was to me. She made a very interesting point that my success from Piece of Cake, and now my weight-loss, has only fed the beast. I think my ultimate challenge is to accept myself, and do things because I want to… not because others will give me recognition for it. The only problem is, I don’t know how to take that on. So it’s time for the inevitable – I need to seek out therapy. I knew it was coming and it only makes sense to get an outside perspective especially during this major life transition that I’m going through. I need to hear someone say that it’s all going to be OK, and that I’m going to be OK. That there is more to life than pretending or putting up a face. That there is nothing wrong with relaxing and just being present in the moment. That I can heal my heart and find love again. Now that I’ve experienced what it’s like to have a partner in life, even if that particular relationship is ending, I definitely want it again. I know it will take time, but love truly is the ultimate goal.