I’ve spent a great deal of my life worrying, looking forward to and trying to calculate the future.  In high school, and ever since, I’ve relied somewhat on tarot cards and astrology to predict events yet to come.  I read Susan Miller’s monthly forecasts religiously the 1st of every month.  There was/is some comfort in anticipating anything hurtful before it has a chance to happen.  I know this form of anxiety relief is very specific to my brand of OCD, but I know plenty of others who indulge in different forms of unrealistic/unhealthy comfort as well.  Some people use religion, some use food, others use alcohol or drugs.  Whatever it takes to get you through the day while keeping the demons at bay.

The truth is that you can’t predict the future.  (*Shocker*)  Some of these tools that I’ve used may or may not have any real basis in the real world, but the point is that the future is the future for a reason… it’s supposed to be a ball of clay waiting to be molded into whatever set of events inspire it.  You can assume that Z will happen because of X and Y, but it will always be an assumption.  Until it actually happens, it’s a figment of anyone’s imagination.  That’s always been scary as hell to me, but on the other hand, there is comfort in the fact that no one is special enough to be privy to that information.  And what fun would life be if we could predict everything anyway?

The last time I saw my therapist we talked a lot about what brings me comfort.  After much discussion we discovered that the extra weight I carried for so long was a form of comfort, and that my marriage was also a tremendous form of comfort.  In fact, they were almost like blankets covering my wounds from childhood as to not allow them to heal.  Now that both of those blankets have been exposed, I can now work on healing those things that I’ve covered up for so long.  I need to work on finding new forms of comfort that don’t involve another person or unhealthy habits that hurt my body.  I have a few ideas of what these could be, but I’m not quite ready to share just yet.  You don’t have to answer this here, but what do you use for comfort in your own life when anxiety rears its ugly head?  Does it depend on another person, or is it something that you can do on your own?  You always hear about the importance of teaching a baby how to self-soothe, but sounds like it may be even more so for adults.