Peace – Freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.

I am on the journey of a lifetime right now, one to find peace… and I’m hot on its trail.  I wonder how many people ever actually find peace, or even know to look for it?  I think it’s fair to say that it’s missing in most people’s lives.  I know it is missing from mine, and I’m not sure I’ve ever really had it.   Peace is full acceptance of yourself, and of everything around you… no matter the circumstances.

I’ve been learning a lot about choices from my therapist & her book.    Everything that we do every second of the day is our choice.  How we feel at any given moment is our choice.  No one else can hurt us unless we give them permission to do so.  No one is making you eat that extra cookie or run that extra mile, you are choosing to do so.  She told me next time I participated in an unhealthy behavior, that I should stop for a moment beforehand and say to myself – this is my choice. If I want to keep doing it, then it is my decision.  But acknowledging, just for a second, that you are always 100% in control might change your mind before you start.

I’m starting to realize that life isn’t all about doing the next big thing or one-upping myself all the time.  I used to think my self-worth was defined by my resume and the big plans I always had to come.  Have I really enjoyed the time I’ve spent doing these “big” things though?  Unfortunately, I can’t answer yes to that question right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of my accomplishments and firmly believe that they are all a part of the process of discovering me.  Some people go their whole lives without ever pausing for a moment to ask – Is this really what I want to be doing?  Am I really happy?  What is missing?  I finally know what is missing from my own life – peace.  Until I can be content with just being myself, nothing else is ever going to fill that void.  And like I told my therapist yesterday, I feel 100% confident that I’m going to get to that place.  She responded back to me that it was already starting.