Happy Halloween!  It was a long, but great weekend.  There were ups and downs, highs and lows, but overall it was a lot of fun.  I’m glad that today is the actual holiday though, as I love to celebrate for as long as possible.

Today is a me day.  Since I am starting a new job tomorrow, I need to revisit some of my other big dreams and figure out how they fit in with my new life.  I would like to spend some time in a coffee shop after lunch just writing down ideas and evaluating where I am at this very moment on all fronts.  I feel like I need to put the focus back on me instead of external things or people.  A common struggle with being single is looking for your happiness in others instead of yourself.  Or maybe that’s a common struggle in general.

I still think a lot about what happiness is.  Can happiness only come when things are going the way you’d like them to?  When you finally get what you want?  Is it possible to still be happy when things around you are not the way you’d like them to be?  I think the answer is probably yes, but it’s a journey to get to that kind of self-awareness.  Happiness can come in many forms from a lot of different places, but the kind that lasts indefinitely is one of true acceptance and peace.  I have a hard time with acceptance.  I always think I can do better, do more things and be something more.  I think I mistake the adrenaline rush of exciting events with true joy.  The problem with instant gratification and fleeting moments is that they don’t stick around.  What about the day after the party, the day after the big race, the day after something significant… when the big moment is gone.  If you can find happiness during the quiet times, then I think you’re on to something.  When everyday moments become enough to make you smile, then you’ve found the key.