I love lists.  I make them for almost everything, and I love checking items off as I achieve them.  I also love to use lists as a way to dream about the future.  This week I wrote two that were especially joyful, one was about the things I want (and when I say “things”, I usually mean experiences or goals…unless it’s a new gadget or computer) and the other was a little more personal which I won’t talk about here.  I’ve found myself staring at what I wrote down during quiet moments, and every time it brings a smile to my face.  I always write everything of importance in my purple notebook which I’ve had for about four years now.  The contents of it are all out of order as I love to just pick a random page surrounded by fresh white ones to start scribbling thoughts on.  It has basically turned into a diary of sorts that only I know the sequence to.  There is something very powerful about a hand-written idea, image or word that makes it connect with your soul a little bit more.  It’s like a soul stamp that leaves an essence of your spirit behind in that exact moment of time.  I can look at old notes from the past and almost immediately identify with how I was feeling that day.  It usually makes me laugh to read some of the very random ideas that I come up with & flesh out on paper.  If nothing else, I’m a dreamer…that is for certain.  I’m also a doer, which is equally as important.

A quick Zen Jen update – I’ve been doing really, really well with my exercise, eating and other mini goals that I set for myself during this 4 week period (of which I’m about a week and a half in).  I only wanted to lose a few pounds, which I think I’ve already done successfully.  I’ve also done a good job with not stepping on the scale, which is a battle on a daily basis, but with each passing day I feel a little more free from it.  It still continues to be true that I feel better about my body when I don’t use it at a measurement tool of my exterior appearance.  I wonder though if I can make it two and a half more weeks without using one…so we will see!  Once again I’ve basically given up on the meditation (boo!!!)…but I have taken more quiet time for myself in general, especially on the weekends.  I do spend time visualizing through writing & such, so maybe I haven’t failed 100%.  Someone posted the phrase “baby steps” when I wrote my meditation goals a few weeks back, so if I am going by those standards then maybe I’m on track.  😉